(In Dr. Maxford's superb
office the morning after the announcement of the winner of a slogan
contest was delayed by the contest jury's indecision)
DR. MAXFORD …And I said "You
can stay here till Hoboken freezes over!" I should have fired
the whole bunch of them. The biggest moment in commercial annals
muffed by a gang of horse whistles who wouldn't know a slogan
from a…slap in the belly with a wet fish!
THE ANNOUNCER
I thought I would die of embarrassment.
DR. MAXFORD
I
wish they had died of lockjaw. What good are these contests anyway?
They disrupt your entire organization, they make you millions
of enemies and all they prove is you're making too much money
in the first place since you can afford to toss a large chunk
of it to some sap who probably never had a cup of your coffee
in his life but lives on goat's milk!
THE ANNOUNCER
Have they reached a verdict yet?
DR. MAXFORD
I don't know and I don't care.
THE ANNOUNCER
Maybe if they could hold off until our next broadcast…
DR. MAXFORD
No, no…that would be an intelligent thing…that would
be useful to the company that feeds and clothes them and sends
their children to college so they can grow up to be dumbbells
like their parents…
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